HEY!! HEY!! HEY!! so if you have are looking for a podcast that provides solid biblical perspectives on relationships, go check out "Right to R.E.A.L. Love", Jay, the host, brings in different people each time and together they dive into deep conversations on various topics, and honestly has been one of the tools God has been using to help me reshape & rethink my values, convictions and how I approach dating, love and relationships. So yeah, I do encourage you to check it out, it might just change you life =] This week, I was listening to one of the ManChat series "Does Dating Truly Prepare You For Marriage" and man did God speak in such timeliness, it's a 4 part podcast, BUT if you can, DO take time and give it a listen!! Trust me!! You will benefit from it! There are way too many things in just this one podcast that I can write and share with you but i'll just be sharing a few things that really stood out and spoke to me this past week. People!! YOU ARE PROMISED TO SOMEONE! well, at least I know I am, after my heartbreak four years ago, I clearly heard God said "I have a better one for you", that's a promise I've been/am holding on to and trust that HE will deliver despite how long it'll take, and it's comforting to know that God's got me & I don't have to "put myself out there", He knows, He cares, He is working. "I. AM. PROMISED. TO. SOMEONE.", take a minute to ponder on that line..... its just mind blowing to me, I can't state it, but you know what I mean?? it's like living your single days with a married mindset, that keeps me in check on how I'm honoring my future spouse through my interactions with others now. Ok, now that that's gone through your head, the other thing that really really really hit me was "people can't have access to you all the time, have things that are reserved for your spouse", BUT!!! there was something that I really felt impressed on my heart through this sentence, and that was... "Outside of sex, what else can you give to your spouse?? Are you giving everything but sex to a close guy/girl friend who you might not be marrying" Humans are designed for connections, a connection with our Creator, family, friends, relationships... and it's a fact that we can easily get SO emotionally attached when hanging out with someone, but at the same time you are "indirectly"... or directly lol, building emotional & spiritual connections, and for me, these are connections I only want to share with my future spouse. "Our society makes connections seem so secondary and casual when as a believer/woman who strives for purity of mind, heart and body, we have to be discerned about when we are emotionally getting ahead of ourselves or giving pieces of ourselves away that we don't even realize" (from a friend when discussing on the topic). Ladies!!! . . . and men I suppose, BE responsible with your heart. Guard it. Don't let your emotions sweep you away. Walking into a possible relationship and getting to know someone can sometimes be scary, exciting and fun all at once, but remember : "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4 : 23 When those emotions comes, don't give yourself away so easily, for me, journalling really helped me sort through my thoughts & feelings, in the end of the day laying it ALL in front of God, the Creator and Maker of all. GUARD . YOUR . HEART . I couldn't stress it enough, because we WILL unconsciously (or consciously?! O.o) be giving pieces of ourselves away. Beware of pouring into every other man/women, and that when you do meet your husband/wife, you have nothing else to give. And to those who are in a relationship, just a side note reminder, "your boyfriend should not have husband privileges". I pray that you guys will have discernment, convictions, boundaries and wisdom as you walk with the Lord in your relationships :)
6 Comments
Peter
1/30/2019 03:08:27 pm
I am always confused about if I don't give any pieces away of myself, will she be the one that God prepares for me....
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heather
1/31/2019 10:07:21 pm
Hey Peter!! that is a great question, I'm also learning in this amazing journey, so I can only speak fro my perspective and how I see and face the situation =] but if you want to go deeper, I actually listened to a podcast today that kinda address this question you have, I think you will really enjoy it and gain much from it, (http://righttoreallove.com/bad-dating-habits-part1/ ) there's 3 parts to it, but I have gain so much from it. =D so there was a guy that asked to hang out a few months back, and for a moment I was scared and didn't want to go, but I felt the Lord was like "you have to step out and at least get the know people, even just as friends" so that's what I've been doing, getting to know this person and growing a friendship. when I say "we have to be discerned about when we are emotionally getting ahead of ourselves or giving pieces of ourselves away that we don't even realize", it doesn't mean we sit back and not give anything away, I never said "don't give ANY piece away", cause in a human relationship and when you are getting to know people, you are taking risk, you are opening up, you are sharing, and that's the beauty of human relationships. but the thing is to so with purpose, intention and know your positions and boundaries, and most importantly the discernment and wisdom for God. first and for most, I truly believe, that when you spend time with the Lord and tell Him about these feelings you are developing, leave it at His feet, He will give you either a peace to go forward or a nagging in your heart to pull you back.. second of all, don't be too stress about whether someone is "The One" God has prepared for you, I actually don't believe that there is "the one", cause if there is, then if one person from the past married someone wrong, then we are all doomed LOL. God gave us a freewill to believe Him or not, so why will He force us to marrying someone? He can bring us options and ideal options haha, but ultimately it's a choice we get to make. He told me "I have a better one for you", he didn't tell me who, when and how, and ultimately I need to make the decision. ok, third, when I took the step to know this person, I'm giving parts of me out, but not emotionally, and that's the part that I have to careful about, for months now, every time we hang out, I go home and I journal, I write down all my emotions, knowing that emotions and feelings can come and go, they change, and I really don't want to start a relationship because I "feel" something, cause then I will be clouded and can't see the big picture. anyways, cause I firmly believe that God cares about my heart, He cares about my feelings, and He wants the best for HIs children and therefore, when I write down all these emotions and feelings infront of God, I'm ultimately giving Him the keys to my heart, giving Him control of this growing relationship. in the podcast, the host summaries it as "going further then what you intended and going further then you should based on what you know about yourself and that other person after some time." knowing your position, where you are, what you want, is important. and that's how you can invest in the relationship(give yourself away) while guarding your heart! Guarding your heart is the key!! we give parts of ourselves away in every relationship, not just romantic relationship, so just the make it clear, I'm not warming people to not give themselves away, cause then we lose human interaction. but to be wise and guard your heart in the process, know your boundaries, know your intentions, know what you are looking for, and be wise, take time and observe, I hope this is making sense and not just confusing you more =]
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Peter
2/1/2019 07:47:33 am
Thanks for your sharing, praise the Lord giving you this wisdom and this is really helping me.
heather
2/4/2019 03:39:30 pm
Yeah! anytime!! also listening to this podcast and though of you! Mistakes Men Must Avoid Making When Dating Godly Women (Part 1-4) it's Good! and definitely what you are trying to understand=D
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Lyfee
9/3/2019 07:17:49 am
This is well-written, Heather! I love the way you write and share - so honest and logical.
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heather
9/4/2019 01:21:10 pm
Awee! thank you for dropping by =] the semester's been going great! Huge challenges ahead but so motivated to tackle them :) currently working on a full-on illustration book, it's kinda crazy project to get done in 4 months, but it's going to be on the topic of the "emptiness outside of God", so really excited to see how that can be used! =D
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