Said yes knowing the cost,
Yet, why is it this hard? Maybe that’s why it’s called a cost. Two came and went, Yet, why the third keep coming back? I guess that’s how waves work. Followed the call, Yet, why is that the hinderance? Maybe that’s the weight of “yes”. Stayed in my lane, Yet, why? But I trust you. I guess that’s what surrender means.
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Guys, it's funny how God is constantly teaching and revealing things throughout the different seasons of your life. He is patient, gentle, and knows how much you can take. I have been pretty outspoken about my personal convictions on relationships, and I have been thankful to all the lessons He has been teaching me, it's like an onion being peeled a layer at a time and I have made so many mistakes in my past. As if God is saying, "ok, now that has been dealt with, now let's move on to the next". And like an onion, it goes from the big layers all the way to the small layers, from the big concepts to the smaller details. The big concepts were important and I'm thankful for those convictions, but now I see how because I've held on so tightly on the big concepts that I've missed the smaller details, which are also very important. Be reminded that these are based upon the bigger concepts that I had previously mentioned, not dismissing anything, such as guarding your heart. Those were the big concepts, now on to the small details. Another thing, we all have personal convictions from God, these are mine, you have your own. Whatever they are, just remember this: Don't compromise your convictions for convenience. Alright, when you are in a dating relationship it's normal to start thinking "Can I marry this person?" That is a great question, but DON'T get overly caught up in it! I've been guilty of doing that and in turns caused myself and others lots of pain. I grew up keeping my distance with guys I might be interested in cause of the big concepts, but then I didn't know to really have a normal friendship with them... I'm so thankful for this season in the States, learning to development genuine friendships with the opposition sex, it's refreshing. But I'm also walking on new territory. It's easy to treat the person you are dating AS IF they are your husband and wife, I mean, you are in love and would most likely want to marry that person. In high school, my classmates literality called their dates "husband" and "wife". YET as Christian, God only had two relationship status you can say, "brothers and sisters in Christ" and "husband and wife". But before marriage, they are your brothers and sisters in Christ, and even if you don't end up together, being able to still love like bothers and sisters in Christ is huge. "Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity." 1 Timothy 5:1-2 When you are dating someone treat them as a brother and sister in Christ, don't over complicated it, I wish I didn't. Keeping an eye on some main marriage checkmarks are important, but enjoy hanging out with this person. I saw this video, Advice for Guys on Dating from Desiring God, and man, I wish I had heard it earlier. Girls, don't put necessary expectations on your brothers in Christ. THEY ARE NOT YOUR HUSBAND yet! they don't have to lead your spiritual life, that is your personal responsibility with God (even after you are married). But, the point that really got me was, be friends, enjoy their company, hang out. Ultimately, the beauty of marriage is that strong Christ-centered friendship. Which leads to that other question, "Are they the one? Is this the will of God?", I don't believe in THE ONE, but it's a legitimate question that pops up and we have a tendency to over stress about it, don't we just hate our own heads sometimes.... Milk from Tenth Avenue North said this: "Instead of worrying is she the one, let me ask this question, how would I treat her if she was the one.... I started moving as if she was the one and then I have to trust that if I haven't heart no [from God], then keep walking and that if God is involved He'll divert you." When you have a personal relationship with God, walking in faith shouldn't be hard, cause you know who is leading you. If you are loving God and loving people, YOU ARE IN HIS WILL! Be careful not to get too caught up in questioning the future, that you neglected the present: Love God, Love People. Love comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience and a sincere faith! Waiting for Him to peel yet another layer off that onion skin of mine, not going to lie, sometimes it gets lonely, sometimes I want a friend, a companion I can do life with (I love and treasure my girl friends, but you know what I mean ;P) but I am also enjoying these moments of peeling, as simple as learning to treat him as a brother in Christ and not over complicating it (too fast), that is huge. If you have a few minutes, check out this interview, so much truth and wisdom. Be blessed. HEY HEY HEY!! This past semester I got a chance to work on an illustrative story book for a publication class which was super exciting and scary at the same time! Believe me when I say I don't draw and have never really painted digitally like this before, but God has shown me His goodness and faithfulness throughout this process, I have a smile on my face thinking back at all the late nights, the struggles, the hardships, the surprises, the patiences, encouragement and support I have experienced through the making of this project. it's come a long way, still a working progress and I STILL FOUND SPELLING MISTAKESSSSS... Believe it or not, the concept actually started a year and a half ago, during my first class (Visualisation Illustration) in the MFA program. Back then, I spent the semester developing a basic storyboard, character, was planning to make an animation and even did 3D models for the project, but I ended up not making the animation and finished the class with a basic concept on this concept of emptiness. I have mentioned this before, I haven't really done much artistically before coming to the MFA program so seeing the difference from the first initial storyboard (first semester in the program) to the finished project shows how great of a God I serve. It's not about me and not in my ability or strength, if God calls you to do something, just go and do it, cause HE will surprise you, HE will give you the ability, just have a willing heart! Here are the initial sketches from that class =P
Hollow started when I was asked to solve a problem with a visual solution... Coming from Macau China, the "problem" that I settled on was the issue of emptiness. Macau is the gambling capital of the world, materialism, chasing a better life, and in search of "happiness" are things I grew up being surrounded by. Thankfully, growing up in a Christian home, I got to know Jesus Christ as my personal saviour and found true fulfilment and joy in Christ. But many are living that life style of searching for the next "high", and it's draining, it's tiring and it's never ending... My mom always illustrated emptiness like this: We all have a hollow space in our hearts that only God can fill up, and when we put other things in this hole, they fall out, we might be "happy" during the brief moment it's going through, but it falls out. However, once Jesus fills that hollow space, I not longer depend on these "other things" to bring me joy, once I have Jesus, everything else is an added blessing, but I'm already whole. So God used the visualisation illustration class to develop a basic concept, a direction for Hollow.
Ok,,, so this semester, I took a publication class and between my three initial ideas of "the history of gum", "the journey of the heart" and "hollow", I've decided to use the class to continue on this concept of emptiness and decided to do an full on illustrative book, which was a crazy idea. In 4 months, I had to have a good story that depicts the concept of emptiness in an engaging yet simple way and then have to somehow illustrate and print out an actual book?? I still remember proposing the plan to the class and saying "I'm going to die", but once again, this project is not about me, God was working a year and a half ago, I am still in awe looking at the pages. All I knew going into the project was that blue was the main color and the character has a puppet element to it. Story development took longer than expected which gave me only a month to work on digital painting the pages. I got to meet with professors and friends who challenged my storyline, "why is this here?", "what does this mean?", "is the theology correct?". During this process, I had changed the story 4 times and the pages went from 32pages --> 60 pages --> 36 pages, and the text style went from a first person reaction style to a narrative style. My professor challenged me to create four variations per scene which was incredibly helpful adding depth to the scenes and story being told. There were so many difficult moment in which I honestly wanted to give up, when I struggled with drawing and story development, and I have tried to squeeze content out but It doesn't work, many times God will show up last minute when I finally once again come back in humility and admit that I can't do this on my own. I also have to thank all my friends who took time looking over my dummy books, giving me feedback and suggestions and checking for grammar and spelling mistakes, I am beyond thankful for everyone involved in the process!
After finalising on the context of the story, painting it was the next big challenge, how detail should the textures be? how do you control the lighting? what colours to use? how are the colours going to translate when printed? where do you start? how do you start? yes... I really didn't know. But start somewhere, I started with the first two pages and then redoing them for a few time before finding a color scheme?? that fits the emptiness vibe. It took close to two weeks figuring out what colors I should use and how to keep the few pages I was working on consistent throughout, I wanted to give up, at this point I have 2 weeks left to finish 13 pages and I wanted to change the more cinematic style to a simple line art cause I couldn't see myself finishing everything in the given time. But my classmates and professors encouraged and pushed me to continue with the more cinematic style. They also made it clear that I don't have to illustrate every single detail of what is happening, let the context and the readers imagination do the connecting work, that was a lesson I had to learn coming from an animating mindset of this leads to that. So in the end everything was finished in time, I have grow and learn so so so so so much during this process, so humbled by the finished product, and can't wait to see how God might use it, if possible even have it translated into different languages and animated?? I don't know, would want to eventually keep working on it or at least make small detailed adjustments before making it public and publishing it. God is good!! thanks for making it through this incredulity LONGGGG blog and being on this journey with me =] Was it love or infatuation? Were those butterflies real? Admit it, we've all felt it some point in life, those tingles, those emotions, those feelings. But what were they? How can you say you like a flavor before tasting it? A song before listening to it? A game before playing it? How can you say you like someone before spending time with them, before getting to know them? Those initial “butterflies” when you first laid eyes on someone are most likely infatuation. You image how and what it will be like to be with this person, and expectations build up in your mind. But you don’t know them. They are just someone in your imagination. Butterflies are fragile, there is no foundation in them. Believe it or not, one day those butterflies will probably claim down, but that’s not a bad thing, cause then you are comfortable with this person, you love being with them, you trust them, you have been valuable. They know the ins and outs of you, they know the ugliest parts of you and the most radiant parts. Now, when all butterflies are gone, they get to actively choose to love you despite the situation. Love is a conscious choice. It’s grounded not merely on a feeling, not on what you can get from the other person, but what you can give. It is selfless and not self-seeking. If a relationship is built on a feeling, it is fragile. Because no relationship is perfect, they all take work, they all go through things whether big or small. We come from two very different worlds trying to be in the same world. If you really like someone, and if they really mean a lot to you, make sure you are walking into the relationship not merely based on a feeling, cause I assure you, you will be disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, having expectations is a beautiful thing, we kinda should have expectations going into a new relationship! For the changes in life, for the unknown adventures, for getting to know an amazing human being. But never put your expectations on the other person, don’t expect them to meet your expectations, that’s not their job. If you are not a satisfied single, if you are looking for something in a relationship outside of loving this person, then you probably should not be in a relationship. Besides, everyone has a different love language, talk about your expectations (if you do have lots of them =P), cause no one wants to be in the guessing game. "To be loved and not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not love is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.” -Timothy Keller- -The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God- I was reading Joshua 23:11 a while back, which sparked this whole conversation in my head. but it says: BE VERY CAREFUL, therefore, to love the Lord your God. (你們要分外謹慎, 愛耶和華你們的神). The greatest being we are called to love is not based on a feeling. We are to love God SUPER CONSCIOUSLY! it's a choice, and we have to be "very careful" in choosing to do so. And once again, the greatest example of love is the action Jesus took to love us. Jesus most probably didn't feel butterflies in his stomach when he was hanging on the cross, He chose to love us, chose to die for us knowing that we will still reject this love. This generation has put too much emphasis on how we "feel" about things, but the biggest fable about this idea is that OUR FEELINGS CHANGH ALL THE TIME... Love, is a conscious choice. This is the hardest post to write, but a much necessary one to process my emotions...
Relationships are a beautiful thing, When two strangers take that step to learn about one another, it's an exciting time, You'll find common interest, weird yet funny differences, Your friend group expands, you start to understand how the other person thinks, But at the same time can't stop wondering "why they would be interested in a person like me?" You venture off into this unknown world not knowing what's next, Trying your best to be careful and not fall in the deep end too fast, You guard your heart, but at the same time learn to be vulnerable and open. You develop feelings, you accept the fact that a new page is turning. Then you mess up and unintentionally caused hurt and pain, You question your own stupidity and wish to go back in time, But damage has been done, the relationship ends. When two people come together, They are bringing two different minds, outlooks on life and pace to the table, You can freak out and don't know how to respond when the concept of someone interested in you is so new, You might make decisions based on your comfort without acknowledging the other person's perspective, But never take relationships for granted, while you guard your heart, Guys need to protect their hearts too. I've messed up, caused deep cuts to a person who's only shown how much he cared for me. So now what? Four months of venturing came to an unexpected stop, It finally kicked in and I feel the pain he had talked about, I am embarrassed, ashamed, and still couldn't believe that I had caused all this. But life goes on <tears> Relationships are a growing process, There is a start and an end to everything under the sun, but the process is what we cherish, There were ups and down, highs and lows, and beauty found in pain, I will forever be grateful for the growth and breakthroughs reached and overcame during these four months, Humans makes mistakes all the time, I make mistakes all the time. But God is still faithful and on the throne, "God is constantly in a state of drawing us closer to Him and to teaching us to trust Him more. Relationship, good Godly relationships, are definitely an avenue God does that" He showed me what being in a Godly relationship looked like, I don't know if I could forgive myself for causing him so much pain and hurt, I don't know how long till our hearts recover, I don't know what will happen next What I know is the lesson I've learn, Relationships takes two individuals, "Emotional intimacy grows together in a relationship, one person doesn't get to dictate when and how to the other." Don't take their heart for granted, I'm sorry. HEY, HEY, HEY,, I'm back in my lovely little space in the land I was born, Macau China, still in awe of the fact that I actually lived in America this past year, and took on a field I had never even dreamed of having any connection with.....
One year passes so fast if you're not paying attention, but at the same time, so so so so so much can happen within a year. For me, I don't even know where to begin with, from the first awkward "Hi, I'm heather from Macau"?? The challenges and trials that came along the way?? The battles acknowledged and overcame?? The friendships built?? The scary steps of saying "Yes" and opening up?? hahaha,, like I said, much as happened, and maybe, just maybe ;P one day I'll share them with you, But one thing I've definitely learnt throughout this year, one thing that God has constantly been teaching me is that "I'm honestly not that special" hahah,, ok, before you hate on me, hear me out =] Guys, when God calls you to do something or go somewhere, what's your respond? How much time would you need to think? How many times do we say "no, I'm not good enough"?? God switched my path from Communications to Digital Art. Being in America?? Pursing a Master of Fine Arts?? The highest degree in the Art field?? How crazy is that?! But that was exactly what I've been doing this past year... and let me tell you, it's INTIMIDATING sitting in a classroom where everyone has been at least 4 years down the road in this "art" journey, and that is "AT LEAST". Still remember walking up to my digital painting professor the first day of class as he pointed at me and said, "here's my special case" LOL And yes, I had days of wondering whether or not I'm good enough,, was I crazy for coming and taking this step,, and getting art "basic" in a Master's program?? But as these thoughts creeps in, God met me where I was. Throughout this whole year, one huge theme that God continually brought up was :"this is not about you, stop looking at yourself and fix you eyes on me", and let. me. tell. you. that GOD . IS . PATIENT . when he spends 6 months constantly pouring His word over me on this one theme. He took His time and started me off with the book of Esther, I've mentioned this before in my post "If I Hadn't Fail 5th Grade" but I'll bring it up again, cause it's how it started =P "For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” - Esther 4 : 14 - It is a privilege to work along side God, when He calls and invites you to be apart of His plans, don't think tooo highly of yourselves, it's actually humbling to know that God doesn't "need" to use you, if you say "No", He can just ask and ARISE someone else! You are not that special. But then you'll miss out on the adventure/blessings that comes along aside with God's calling =] Ok now, let's say you answered God's call, which I honestly courage you to! If he is calling you to do something or go somewhere, JUST DO IT! So often we start to fear after answering God's calling, fear of not being fit for the job, fear of messing up, fear of what other people think..... But remember, where God guides, He provides. Esther had to go into a 12 month training before even stepping foot in the task God has called her to do!! (Esther 2:12) God took the time to train and prepare her for the job He had called her to do. God is equipping you/me right now! I honestly don't have a clear picture of what I'll be doing exactly? but God knows and am equipping me accordingly. But then it's SO easy for us to start looking around and comparing with those around us and eventually lose sight of who God is in our life and putting our emphasis on the skills we (think we) have. I've been there, and it's draining!! Isaiah 22 : 8 & 11 says this, ".......You looked in that day to the armor of the House of the Forest........But you did not look to its Maker........ " In a worldly mindset, if you're going to war, your confidence is probably placed on the level & amount of weapons you possess; if you are taking on a job, your confidence is placed on the skills and tools you possess. But when we live a surrendered life to the Lord, where should we put our confidences? where should we fix our eyes on? That verse states it so well, they did not look to its Maker, but I pray that you do. Last verse,,,, have you read the Bible and just start laughing and mumble the words, "God you are funny"?? I have, many times hahah =] I read this verse and ran out to tell my sister!! "A highway shall be there, and a road, And it shall be called the Highway of Holiness. The unclean shall not pass over it, But it shall be for others. Whoever walks the road, although a fool, Shall not go astray." -Isaiah 35 : 8- The people walking on this highway are cleansed by the blood of Christ, so if you accept Christ as your saviour and confesses your sins, you are one of those who can pass and walk on this Highway of Holiness =] Ok now when that has gone through your head, check this out "Whoever walks the road, although a FOOL, shall not go astray" this was so funny to me cause in a way it's SO true lol, I'm one of those walking on this road, but I'm a FOOL, I'm CRAZY, I'm WEIRD, I don't know what I am doing, AND IT IS OK!! cause I "shall not go astray"! and you ask why? Cause God is leading me each step of the way. So when the world calls you crazy for doing something God has placed in your heart, fix your eyes on God, fix your eyes on the MAKER and don't look at the "armour" in your house!! =D HEY!! HEY!! HEY!! so if you have are looking for a podcast that provides solid biblical perspectives on relationships, go check out "Right to R.E.A.L. Love", Jay, the host, brings in different people each time and together they dive into deep conversations on various topics, and honestly has been one of the tools God has been using to help me reshape & rethink my values, convictions and how I approach dating, love and relationships. So yeah, I do encourage you to check it out, it might just change you life =] This week, I was listening to one of the ManChat series "Does Dating Truly Prepare You For Marriage" and man did God speak in such timeliness, it's a 4 part podcast, BUT if you can, DO take time and give it a listen!! Trust me!! You will benefit from it! There are way too many things in just this one podcast that I can write and share with you but i'll just be sharing a few things that really stood out and spoke to me this past week. People!! YOU ARE PROMISED TO SOMEONE! well, at least I know I am, after my heartbreak four years ago, I clearly heard God said "I have a better one for you", that's a promise I've been/am holding on to and trust that HE will deliver despite how long it'll take, and it's comforting to know that God's got me & I don't have to "put myself out there", He knows, He cares, He is working. "I. AM. PROMISED. TO. SOMEONE.", take a minute to ponder on that line..... its just mind blowing to me, I can't state it, but you know what I mean?? it's like living your single days with a married mindset, that keeps me in check on how I'm honoring my future spouse through my interactions with others now. Ok, now that that's gone through your head, the other thing that really really really hit me was "people can't have access to you all the time, have things that are reserved for your spouse", BUT!!! there was something that I really felt impressed on my heart through this sentence, and that was... "Outside of sex, what else can you give to your spouse?? Are you giving everything but sex to a close guy/girl friend who you might not be marrying" Humans are designed for connections, a connection with our Creator, family, friends, relationships... and it's a fact that we can easily get SO emotionally attached when hanging out with someone, but at the same time you are "indirectly"... or directly lol, building emotional & spiritual connections, and for me, these are connections I only want to share with my future spouse. "Our society makes connections seem so secondary and casual when as a believer/woman who strives for purity of mind, heart and body, we have to be discerned about when we are emotionally getting ahead of ourselves or giving pieces of ourselves away that we don't even realize" (from a friend when discussing on the topic). Ladies!!! . . . and men I suppose, BE responsible with your heart. Guard it. Don't let your emotions sweep you away. Walking into a possible relationship and getting to know someone can sometimes be scary, exciting and fun all at once, but remember : "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4 : 23 When those emotions comes, don't give yourself away so easily, for me, journalling really helped me sort through my thoughts & feelings, in the end of the day laying it ALL in front of God, the Creator and Maker of all. GUARD . YOUR . HEART . I couldn't stress it enough, because we WILL unconsciously (or consciously?! O.o) be giving pieces of ourselves away. Beware of pouring into every other man/women, and that when you do meet your husband/wife, you have nothing else to give. And to those who are in a relationship, just a side note reminder, "your boyfriend should not have husband privileges". I pray that you guys will have discernment, convictions, boundaries and wisdom as you walk with the Lord in your relationships :)
This year has been the most quiet and chill Christmas and New Year's Day for me, because my roommates are out of State and I'm practically stuck at home most days without my drivers license, but at the same time, it gave me so much time to spend with the Lord and think about life. One particular thing I've been pondering about is my purpose for being in the States this season in life. If you've been reading my previous blogs, you'll know how God had brought me here miraculously to be equipped, but is that all? What else does He have in store? How else can I be used by Him? This holiday season I've started the book of Esther... "For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place . . . Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Esther 4 : 14 There are some amazing reminders in this verse . . . First, God is always in control, it's a privilege to serve God with our gifts and talents, cause if I don't answer to His calling then He will raise up someone else, His WILL will be done despite us, but He invites us to work along side Him. Second, God never wastes His equipping or timing, He placed Esther in a position where she can complete her task, then He gave her the wisdom and courage she needed, and as she took the leap of faith, God just orchestrated everything else afterwards. As I was studying the book of Esther, a thought kept popping into my head, and I spent two FREEZING nights laying on the ground, gazing at the galaxy, pondering on "what will happen if I hadn't fail 5th grade?", "what will happen if I hadn't been held back a year?" Currently still sick from being in the cold, but it was so worth it! What. Will. Happen. I'm asking this question not in a negative way, but in a way that leaves me in AWE. If you know what I mean. Who is Esther that God will make her queen among all the young women in the kingdom? Who am I that God will care to hold me back a year so all His other plans may fall in place? Why was I the one who inherited dyslexia among my siblings? Why was I the one who had to go through all the pain with math and spelling? Surprisingly, I had cried many many nights when I was young but I don't recall complaining about it. So, as a result, I failed 5th grade, had to repeat the year, had to make new friends, had the pressure to not fail again and get kicked out of school. Thinking back, I have a smile on my face. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If I hadn't fail 5th grade, I wouldn't have . . . ( "-->" reads as "which led to") 1) Met CC --> Learning iMovie --> Trying designing 2) Met my high school crush --> Having a broken heart for 2 years --> God teaching and renewing my perspective and values on dating, love and relationships 3) Won speech contest in Macau --> Winning 1st in China's nation wide speech contest --> Getting principle recommendation for college --> Getting full scholarship for my BA --> God's provision for my MFA 4) Gotten in the Honours College --> Going on a semester of exchange in D.C. for free --> Finding a passion for animating --> Hearing about the bible project --> Getting accepted to LU --> Doing my Master's the same time as my sister --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- These are just the BIG things that happened because I had dyslexia and failed 5th grade. Many may ask, "Why do bad things happen?", well, my answer to that will be, "how do you know it's 'bad' without seeing the whole picture?" Growing up, I always knew God had a plan and reason for holding me back a year, but I wasn't able to see more of that "picture" till recently and recall the countless blessings I've received because of it. Many things happen that are labeled "coincidence", or human happening, but in reality they are "God-incidence". So going back to my first question, "Is that all? What else does God have in store? How else can I be used by Him?", I honesty DON"T KNOW!! but I'm EXPECTING Him =] A little side note on something that kinda popped up a few days ago . . . Being in the MFA for a semester has been a great experience, learnt a lot, done things I didn't know I can, but it was also a little bit intimidating. Now that I'm "IN" the program, it's like all of the sudden I have to produce "amazing" art work, especially when you see other artist constantly creating great content, makes me wonder, "What am I doing with my life right now?" that thought stayed for half a day and it was DRAINING!! But then God met me with a few verses in Revelation . . . "Grace to you and peace from Hm who is and who was and is to come" v .1 : 4 " 'I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End', says the Lord, ' who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty' " v .1 : 8 "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last" v . 1 : 11 ". . . Do not be afraid; I am the First and the Last. I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of Hades and of Death." v . 1 : 17-18 First of all, the whole "art" journey God has redirected me in is so new to me that it's normal (??) for me to not be amazing all the time??? =P Second, why am I stressing myself out for not putting out "art"?? I'm not an artist in the first place, I'm just a tool for God, so live for Him. He is THE Alpha and Omega!! That is the most important thing for me to hold on to in life. I'm not saying that I'm not going to push myself to be equipped, but it's the mindset of needing to "be amazing, and creative" that can take my focus off of God. So, yep, I'm officially not stressing myself out and just letting God work in and through me =D ---------------------------------- Merry Christmas & Happy New Year -----------------------------------
Hey Hey Hey. For the past month I've been working on a new animation on how Chinese Characters can be used to help us understand biblical truths and stories. This was a "Teach Me" project from a class I'm taking and it's also my first animation that's in and about Chinese!! [exciting, haha] So when God gave me the idea and I started doing some research on the topic, many Chinese scholars criticise Christians who "try" to separate Chinese Characters and force meanings from the ancient characters, just stating it out because that is not what this video is about. I wanted to use this video to show kids how biblical concepts and truths can be seen through their everyday Chinese characters =D another reason that really motived me to settle on this topic is that all the videos I've found explaining this topic are very academic and educational and not really "fun" in a sense. So that's a little background on why I made this video =] So for this video, I focused on three Chinese characters: 船(boat), 塔(tower), 義(righteous). For the word "boat", you can separate it and see it as 舟(ark), 八(eight) & 口(mouth), which is fascinating, cause kids can look at it and easily remember that the first boat the bible ever mentioned was the Noah's ark and that there were eight people in it. For the word "tower", you can separate and see it as 土(mud), 艹(grass) & 合(unity), which is also fascinating [hahahha] that a group of people united under one language and used sticks and mud to build the tower of Babel. For the word "righteous", this is the most fascinating to me, where you can literally see the love of God through this character, the character can be separated and seen as 羊(sheep) & 我(me), and it's the sheep on top of me!! How that concept of being made righteous by the lamp of God covering us can be easily understood by kids in this sense?! it's amazing even as I'm typing this out! =P Here's the story line . . .. So the animation is about this fluff!! again,, haha. But the story starts with "Wings, are missing..." and "Mission, discover biblical mysteries through Chinese characters". Fluff will gain wings as it reaches each part of the character and gain extra when the bible verse comes up after every word. But for the word "tower", fluff loses all it's wings when the bible verse comes up because that action for building the tower of Babel was not pleasing to the Lord =[ BUT!!! in the end, because we were made righteous through Jesus, the perfect lamb of God, fluff gains ALL it's wings back!!! the end. The verse I used . . . For "boat", 1 Peter 3:20, ". . . once the longsuffering of God waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was a preparing, wherein few, that is, eight souls were saved by water." For "tower", Genesis 11:1&4, "Now the whole earth had one language and one speech. . . And they said, 'Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top is in the heavens; let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth.' " For "righteous", Genesis 22:8 "My son, God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering" 2 Corinthians 5:21 "For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." Funny thing before you watch the video, I just realised today how God lead the process for choosing the specific characters and the order they were placed in the video. How the first one was "boat" and about how God saved Noah's family from the flood, introducing the mercy of our Father. The second one was "tower", how humans decided to be bigger than their creator. The third one was "righteous", how it's really not about what we do that saves us, but purity on who God is. We are DEAD-MEAT by ourselves, but were made righteous by the grace of God =D ** BIG Shout Out to Sammy Tang!!! Who wrote all the Chinese you see in the video ** Behind the scenes . . .
Starting a relationship before a relationship with God is deadly Starting a relationship out of loneness will leave you empty Starting a relationship without a goal for marriage is meaningless Over the month God has given me a strong conviction on relationships, specifically on "starting" a romantic relationship, I have shared in previous post about how singleness is a wonderful period to build and draw near to one true relationship we can't live without --- God, I still firmly believe in that. However, I really want to share with you a personal conviction God has placed in my heart recently. --------- Just the heads up: this is my personal conviction, it doesn't apply to everyone ---------- -------- but maybe It will benefit you, as you consider "starting" a romantic relationship. -------- How often are we obedient to God's voice? How often do we seek and wait for His timing? After my first heartbreak 4 years ago, I have always been careful with "starting" relationships. I am so thankful that God had kept me safe from "starting" relationships during my uni life, I was able to draw near to God, grow in His word, and grow in faith towards His plans and timings for my life. These few weeks I felt a strong conviction on an issue that I have never thought about, but at the same time will and has a big impact on my life. Girls, Is it so easy for us to overflow our crush with huge amounts of texts? Is it so easy for us to do things to gain their attention? You know sometimes when you’re interested in someone (I’m not saying it’s happening to me, but just something God put in my heart through a person), you really want to text them and know what they are doing. So I really wanted to initiate conversations towards this one person, and every-time I had the urge to do so, I’ll struggle for a while and then I felt God telling me that purposefully putting myself in one’s mind ahead of God is a way of “ruling over their hearts”, I'll be dominating their time and energy with my own means & way. This reminded me about one of the cures of Eve in Genesis 3:16 "Your desire shall be for your husband", which holds the meaning that we, girls, will have a desire to dominate, control and rule over man. So a month ago, I really had the urge to text this one person, and after struggling for a long while, I decided not to and obeyed God voice, and knew in my heart that if God puts me in their heart and they contact me, then it’s God, not me pushing for something. So I put down my phone and continued with life. Then like within 10mins, that person shot me a message and then we had a really nice normal healthy conversation. When I saw the first message, I was like “For real God”? Haha, God is funny =P This person is just a friend for everyone wondering. I’m thankful that I didn’t have the feeling of “oh, I’m in love” no, it’s very settle, and God used it to give me this conviction, that applies to every other guy I might meet. I thank God for teaching me this truth so early on in this new season of life before I did anything stupid, I firmly believe that when God brings two people (both seeking and being obedient to God) together, He will put the desire and thought into both of their hearts, and be the author of their love story. ----Just a quick side note that God reminded me today---- Today I came across the song "A song for Christina (an original song)", a tribute from Christina Grimmie's friend Tyler Ward. It's such a beautiful emotion song but one of the lines in the song shook me, "You would ask for advice, on who you should date". It shook me that Christina was also a girl with a longing and desire for a future spouse, the love in her life, and I bet you that she had prayed and had seek God about it. But it didn't happen during her lifetime. I just started tearing up, not because she passed away before "finding" someone, but because she was able to be used by God each and every moment of her life, spreading Love and Joy to all she comes across with. I sat there with tears in my eyes, thinking out loud, "Lord, why is it so easy for me to think about the future and wish for a certain someone when I don't even know what will happen tomorrow? That certain someone wasn't in your plan for Christina's life, but she gave her 100% each and everyday to be used by you to impact those around her. What about me?" I'm not going to lie, I have culture shook coming to the States, seeing most if not all of your peers (age 19-24) either dating, engaged or married requires sometime to get use to hahah.... I mean, It's hard for a young girl to not think about marriage and how fun it will be to do life with that certain someone, But what if it's not in God's plan for my life? I don't know what's going to happen in the future, so why always try to "plan it out"? God gave me THIS DAY, how am I living it for Him? How am I using what He has given me TODAY for His glory? If He brings someone along the way, then it's His doing in all His perfectness, not me trying hard pushing for it. My ultimate life goal is not marriage, but in being obedient to God in all aspects of life.. Just some random thoughts =] |