Said yes knowing the cost,
Yet, why is it this hard? Maybe that’s why it’s called a cost. Two came and went, Yet, why the third keep coming back? I guess that’s how waves work. Followed the call, Yet, why is that the hinderance? Maybe that’s the weight of “yes”. Stayed in my lane, Yet, why? But I trust you. I guess that’s what surrender means.
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Guys, it's funny how God is constantly teaching and revealing things throughout the different seasons of your life. He is patient, gentle, and knows how much you can take. I have been pretty outspoken about my personal convictions on relationships, and I have been thankful to all the lessons He has been teaching me, it's like an onion being peeled a layer at a time and I have made so many mistakes in my past. As if God is saying, "ok, now that has been dealt with, now let's move on to the next". And like an onion, it goes from the big layers all the way to the small layers, from the big concepts to the smaller details. The big concepts were important and I'm thankful for those convictions, but now I see how because I've held on so tightly on the big concepts that I've missed the smaller details, which are also very important. Be reminded that these are based upon the bigger concepts that I had previously mentioned, not dismissing anything, such as guarding your heart. Those were the big concepts, now on to the small details. Another thing, we all have personal convictions from God, these are mine, you have your own. Whatever they are, just remember this: Don't compromise your convictions for convenience. Alright, when you are in a dating relationship it's normal to start thinking "Can I marry this person?" That is a great question, but DON'T get overly caught up in it! I've been guilty of doing that and in turns caused myself and others lots of pain. I grew up keeping my distance with guys I might be interested in cause of the big concepts, but then I didn't know to really have a normal friendship with them... I'm so thankful for this season in the States, learning to development genuine friendships with the opposition sex, it's refreshing. But I'm also walking on new territory. It's easy to treat the person you are dating AS IF they are your husband and wife, I mean, you are in love and would most likely want to marry that person. In high school, my classmates literality called their dates "husband" and "wife". YET as Christian, God only had two relationship status you can say, "brothers and sisters in Christ" and "husband and wife". But before marriage, they are your brothers and sisters in Christ, and even if you don't end up together, being able to still love like bothers and sisters in Christ is huge. "Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity." 1 Timothy 5:1-2 When you are dating someone treat them as a brother and sister in Christ, don't over complicated it, I wish I didn't. Keeping an eye on some main marriage checkmarks are important, but enjoy hanging out with this person. I saw this video, Advice for Guys on Dating from Desiring God, and man, I wish I had heard it earlier. Girls, don't put necessary expectations on your brothers in Christ. THEY ARE NOT YOUR HUSBAND yet! they don't have to lead your spiritual life, that is your personal responsibility with God (even after you are married). But, the point that really got me was, be friends, enjoy their company, hang out. Ultimately, the beauty of marriage is that strong Christ-centered friendship. Which leads to that other question, "Are they the one? Is this the will of God?", I don't believe in THE ONE, but it's a legitimate question that pops up and we have a tendency to over stress about it, don't we just hate our own heads sometimes.... Milk from Tenth Avenue North said this: "Instead of worrying is she the one, let me ask this question, how would I treat her if she was the one.... I started moving as if she was the one and then I have to trust that if I haven't heart no [from God], then keep walking and that if God is involved He'll divert you." When you have a personal relationship with God, walking in faith shouldn't be hard, cause you know who is leading you. If you are loving God and loving people, YOU ARE IN HIS WILL! Be careful not to get too caught up in questioning the future, that you neglected the present: Love God, Love People. Love comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience and a sincere faith! Waiting for Him to peel yet another layer off that onion skin of mine, not going to lie, sometimes it gets lonely, sometimes I want a friend, a companion I can do life with (I love and treasure my girl friends, but you know what I mean ;P) but I am also enjoying these moments of peeling, as simple as learning to treat him as a brother in Christ and not over complicating it (too fast), that is huge. If you have a few minutes, check out this interview, so much truth and wisdom. Be blessed. Was it love or infatuation? Were those butterflies real? Admit it, we've all felt it some point in life, those tingles, those emotions, those feelings. But what were they? How can you say you like a flavor before tasting it? A song before listening to it? A game before playing it? How can you say you like someone before spending time with them, before getting to know them? Those initial “butterflies” when you first laid eyes on someone are most likely infatuation. You image how and what it will be like to be with this person, and expectations build up in your mind. But you don’t know them. They are just someone in your imagination. Butterflies are fragile, there is no foundation in them. Believe it or not, one day those butterflies will probably claim down, but that’s not a bad thing, cause then you are comfortable with this person, you love being with them, you trust them, you have been valuable. They know the ins and outs of you, they know the ugliest parts of you and the most radiant parts. Now, when all butterflies are gone, they get to actively choose to love you despite the situation. Love is a conscious choice. It’s grounded not merely on a feeling, not on what you can get from the other person, but what you can give. It is selfless and not self-seeking. If a relationship is built on a feeling, it is fragile. Because no relationship is perfect, they all take work, they all go through things whether big or small. We come from two very different worlds trying to be in the same world. If you really like someone, and if they really mean a lot to you, make sure you are walking into the relationship not merely based on a feeling, cause I assure you, you will be disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, having expectations is a beautiful thing, we kinda should have expectations going into a new relationship! For the changes in life, for the unknown adventures, for getting to know an amazing human being. But never put your expectations on the other person, don’t expect them to meet your expectations, that’s not their job. If you are not a satisfied single, if you are looking for something in a relationship outside of loving this person, then you probably should not be in a relationship. Besides, everyone has a different love language, talk about your expectations (if you do have lots of them =P), cause no one wants to be in the guessing game. "To be loved and not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not love is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.” -Timothy Keller- -The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God- I was reading Joshua 23:11 a while back, which sparked this whole conversation in my head. but it says: BE VERY CAREFUL, therefore, to love the Lord your God. (你們要分外謹慎, 愛耶和華你們的神). The greatest being we are called to love is not based on a feeling. We are to love God SUPER CONSCIOUSLY! it's a choice, and we have to be "very careful" in choosing to do so. And once again, the greatest example of love is the action Jesus took to love us. Jesus most probably didn't feel butterflies in his stomach when he was hanging on the cross, He chose to love us, chose to die for us knowing that we will still reject this love. This generation has put too much emphasis on how we "feel" about things, but the biggest fable about this idea is that OUR FEELINGS CHANGH ALL THE TIME... Love, is a conscious choice. This is the hardest post to write, but a much necessary one to process my emotions...
Relationships are a beautiful thing, When two strangers take that step to learn about one another, it's an exciting time, You'll find common interest, weird yet funny differences, Your friend group expands, you start to understand how the other person thinks, But at the same time can't stop wondering "why they would be interested in a person like me?" You venture off into this unknown world not knowing what's next, Trying your best to be careful and not fall in the deep end too fast, You guard your heart, but at the same time learn to be vulnerable and open. You develop feelings, you accept the fact that a new page is turning. Then you mess up and unintentionally caused hurt and pain, You question your own stupidity and wish to go back in time, But damage has been done, the relationship ends. When two people come together, They are bringing two different minds, outlooks on life and pace to the table, You can freak out and don't know how to respond when the concept of someone interested in you is so new, You might make decisions based on your comfort without acknowledging the other person's perspective, But never take relationships for granted, while you guard your heart, Guys need to protect their hearts too. I've messed up, caused deep cuts to a person who's only shown how much he cared for me. So now what? Four months of venturing came to an unexpected stop, It finally kicked in and I feel the pain he had talked about, I am embarrassed, ashamed, and still couldn't believe that I had caused all this. But life goes on <tears> Relationships are a growing process, There is a start and an end to everything under the sun, but the process is what we cherish, There were ups and down, highs and lows, and beauty found in pain, I will forever be grateful for the growth and breakthroughs reached and overcame during these four months, Humans makes mistakes all the time, I make mistakes all the time. But God is still faithful and on the throne, "God is constantly in a state of drawing us closer to Him and to teaching us to trust Him more. Relationship, good Godly relationships, are definitely an avenue God does that" He showed me what being in a Godly relationship looked like, I don't know if I could forgive myself for causing him so much pain and hurt, I don't know how long till our hearts recover, I don't know what will happen next What I know is the lesson I've learn, Relationships takes two individuals, "Emotional intimacy grows together in a relationship, one person doesn't get to dictate when and how to the other." Don't take their heart for granted, I'm sorry. HEY!! HEY!! HEY!! so if you have are looking for a podcast that provides solid biblical perspectives on relationships, go check out "Right to R.E.A.L. Love", Jay, the host, brings in different people each time and together they dive into deep conversations on various topics, and honestly has been one of the tools God has been using to help me reshape & rethink my values, convictions and how I approach dating, love and relationships. So yeah, I do encourage you to check it out, it might just change you life =] This week, I was listening to one of the ManChat series "Does Dating Truly Prepare You For Marriage" and man did God speak in such timeliness, it's a 4 part podcast, BUT if you can, DO take time and give it a listen!! Trust me!! You will benefit from it! There are way too many things in just this one podcast that I can write and share with you but i'll just be sharing a few things that really stood out and spoke to me this past week. People!! YOU ARE PROMISED TO SOMEONE! well, at least I know I am, after my heartbreak four years ago, I clearly heard God said "I have a better one for you", that's a promise I've been/am holding on to and trust that HE will deliver despite how long it'll take, and it's comforting to know that God's got me & I don't have to "put myself out there", He knows, He cares, He is working. "I. AM. PROMISED. TO. SOMEONE.", take a minute to ponder on that line..... its just mind blowing to me, I can't state it, but you know what I mean?? it's like living your single days with a married mindset, that keeps me in check on how I'm honoring my future spouse through my interactions with others now. Ok, now that that's gone through your head, the other thing that really really really hit me was "people can't have access to you all the time, have things that are reserved for your spouse", BUT!!! there was something that I really felt impressed on my heart through this sentence, and that was... "Outside of sex, what else can you give to your spouse?? Are you giving everything but sex to a close guy/girl friend who you might not be marrying" Humans are designed for connections, a connection with our Creator, family, friends, relationships... and it's a fact that we can easily get SO emotionally attached when hanging out with someone, but at the same time you are "indirectly"... or directly lol, building emotional & spiritual connections, and for me, these are connections I only want to share with my future spouse. "Our society makes connections seem so secondary and casual when as a believer/woman who strives for purity of mind, heart and body, we have to be discerned about when we are emotionally getting ahead of ourselves or giving pieces of ourselves away that we don't even realize" (from a friend when discussing on the topic). Ladies!!! . . . and men I suppose, BE responsible with your heart. Guard it. Don't let your emotions sweep you away. Walking into a possible relationship and getting to know someone can sometimes be scary, exciting and fun all at once, but remember : "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4 : 23 When those emotions comes, don't give yourself away so easily, for me, journalling really helped me sort through my thoughts & feelings, in the end of the day laying it ALL in front of God, the Creator and Maker of all. GUARD . YOUR . HEART . I couldn't stress it enough, because we WILL unconsciously (or consciously?! O.o) be giving pieces of ourselves away. Beware of pouring into every other man/women, and that when you do meet your husband/wife, you have nothing else to give. And to those who are in a relationship, just a side note reminder, "your boyfriend should not have husband privileges". I pray that you guys will have discernment, convictions, boundaries and wisdom as you walk with the Lord in your relationships :)
Starting a relationship before a relationship with God is deadly Starting a relationship out of loneness will leave you empty Starting a relationship without a goal for marriage is meaningless Over the month God has given me a strong conviction on relationships, specifically on "starting" a romantic relationship, I have shared in previous post about how singleness is a wonderful period to build and draw near to one true relationship we can't live without --- God, I still firmly believe in that. However, I really want to share with you a personal conviction God has placed in my heart recently. --------- Just the heads up: this is my personal conviction, it doesn't apply to everyone ---------- -------- but maybe It will benefit you, as you consider "starting" a romantic relationship. -------- How often are we obedient to God's voice? How often do we seek and wait for His timing? After my first heartbreak 4 years ago, I have always been careful with "starting" relationships. I am so thankful that God had kept me safe from "starting" relationships during my uni life, I was able to draw near to God, grow in His word, and grow in faith towards His plans and timings for my life. These few weeks I felt a strong conviction on an issue that I have never thought about, but at the same time will and has a big impact on my life. Girls, Is it so easy for us to overflow our crush with huge amounts of texts? Is it so easy for us to do things to gain their attention? You know sometimes when you’re interested in someone (I’m not saying it’s happening to me, but just something God put in my heart through a person), you really want to text them and know what they are doing. So I really wanted to initiate conversations towards this one person, and every-time I had the urge to do so, I’ll struggle for a while and then I felt God telling me that purposefully putting myself in one’s mind ahead of God is a way of “ruling over their hearts”, I'll be dominating their time and energy with my own means & way. This reminded me about one of the cures of Eve in Genesis 3:16 "Your desire shall be for your husband", which holds the meaning that we, girls, will have a desire to dominate, control and rule over man. So a month ago, I really had the urge to text this one person, and after struggling for a long while, I decided not to and obeyed God voice, and knew in my heart that if God puts me in their heart and they contact me, then it’s God, not me pushing for something. So I put down my phone and continued with life. Then like within 10mins, that person shot me a message and then we had a really nice normal healthy conversation. When I saw the first message, I was like “For real God”? Haha, God is funny =P This person is just a friend for everyone wondering. I’m thankful that I didn’t have the feeling of “oh, I’m in love” no, it’s very settle, and God used it to give me this conviction, that applies to every other guy I might meet. I thank God for teaching me this truth so early on in this new season of life before I did anything stupid, I firmly believe that when God brings two people (both seeking and being obedient to God) together, He will put the desire and thought into both of their hearts, and be the author of their love story. ----Just a quick side note that God reminded me today---- Today I came across the song "A song for Christina (an original song)", a tribute from Christina Grimmie's friend Tyler Ward. It's such a beautiful emotion song but one of the lines in the song shook me, "You would ask for advice, on who you should date". It shook me that Christina was also a girl with a longing and desire for a future spouse, the love in her life, and I bet you that she had prayed and had seek God about it. But it didn't happen during her lifetime. I just started tearing up, not because she passed away before "finding" someone, but because she was able to be used by God each and every moment of her life, spreading Love and Joy to all she comes across with. I sat there with tears in my eyes, thinking out loud, "Lord, why is it so easy for me to think about the future and wish for a certain someone when I don't even know what will happen tomorrow? That certain someone wasn't in your plan for Christina's life, but she gave her 100% each and everyday to be used by you to impact those around her. What about me?" I'm not going to lie, I have culture shook coming to the States, seeing most if not all of your peers (age 19-24) either dating, engaged or married requires sometime to get use to hahah.... I mean, It's hard for a young girl to not think about marriage and how fun it will be to do life with that certain someone, But what if it's not in God's plan for my life? I don't know what's going to happen in the future, so why always try to "plan it out"? God gave me THIS DAY, how am I living it for Him? How am I using what He has given me TODAY for His glory? If He brings someone along the way, then it's His doing in all His perfectness, not me trying hard pushing for it. My ultimate life goal is not marriage, but in being obedient to God in all aspects of life.. Just some random thoughts =] Haven't posted in ages!!! LOTS HAVE HAPPENED!!
well, I suppose you won't be able to intake all of that information at once, so I'll break them down in future posts! Today i'll share with ya'll something a bit personal, something God has taught me during my little break =] ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Love is a choice, feelings comes and goes. When you feel sth about a person, you can't stop but wonder whether they feel the same way, or is it just me. . People say that singleness is the best time to grow tight with God. You acknowledge the fact that you're already whole and complete with God in your life. Needing a mate to complete you is a lie from the Satan because two incomplete person can't complete one another, that's God's job, not mine. . Growing tight with God also means that you honor Him in your thoughts and choices, you honor His definition of love and dating, not a game, but a path towards marriage. . As a girl in her early 20s, you can't help but wonder and ask, "where are You calling me to and how will I be a helper for 'him'?" You'll dream of yourself in a wedding dress(literally). You are reminded by pass foolishness that following your feelings and not God tears your heart in pieces. . So you learn to keep the feelings to yourself, you pray, seek and trust God for who He is. . A few months, two different countries, rarely talking, scrolling through fb, you know he's active, but what could you do? As a person with the crush, you want to tell him. As a sister in Christ, you want to protect him from ideas he probably didn't have. . You stop when his picture comes across the screen. You wonder if you'll never see him again, if not, than what's the point? The feelings faded as time passed. But like I said, love is a choice you'll have to make. . Ok, my point is, you probably will have feelings for more than one person during you walk in life, but if you say you love someone because of a spark of feeling, what happens when you don't feel "it" anymore? . So, seek, pray, don't rush, use this time to deepen in the Word to growing the only relationship you really can't live without. Enjoy your singleness!!! I believe God will make it clear to both parties in His perfectness =] ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… - Merry Christmas - If you've ever gone through a break up, you'll understand the pain i'm taking about. An aching in your heart , a cut that is pushed in further in each passing day, a heart beat that is slowly fading away, a wound that could take years or even decades to heal, a disease that even a heart surgeon fails to cure. What do I do with a heart like this? What could I do with a heart like this? That was me two years ago, a pain I've brought upon myself with the wrong decisions I've made. These decisions didn't just give me a torn heart, It added a fence, a wall around it. A fence that would protect this small beating life from further damage. However, it kept my heart from healing as well. Many of you might not know it, but these strongholds within me made me doubt what true love is, it made me doubt my feelings, my appearance, and my body to a point that I started hating myself! I had a short period of extreme eating disorder, I would either indulge in large amount of food or starve myself to death! That was me two years ago.... Although God told me that He has a better one prepared for me, it still took me two years to cure this heart of mine. But eventually, those broken pieces of my heart were being patched up one by one by the healing power of God. He used my close friends, families to show me that if I put my hopes and dreams in this world, all it will give me is disappointments; But in 2 Corinthians 4: 1 8 it says"While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." Everything on this earth is only TEMPORAL!!! Love, Fame, Wealth. Everything!! So there is no way that I would be eternally satisfied by things I chase after. Yes, this person broke my heart, but showed me a truth that would change my life, my values forever! Jesus was my heart surgeon, He gave me back my hopes, my confidence and most importantly, He took away that fence I've been trapping my heart in, and He made that small heart pumping again!! Now, you might be wondering what this has to do with you, well, you are a heart surgeon as well! Every day thousands of people are passing around you, and you won't know what's going on in their hearts! Each word and expression you make would either patch a piece back on their hearts or tear another piece down! Well, the choice is your, I encourage you to stop living for yourselves, but make it a habit to lighten another blown out candle, and to pump another stopped heart! However, of course, you won't be able to help others when your candle is out can you? So, Let me introduce you to the best heart surgeon and lighter I know --- JESUS =D
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