Guys, it's funny how God is constantly teaching and revealing things throughout the different seasons of your life. He is patient, gentle, and knows how much you can take. I have been pretty outspoken about my personal convictions on relationships, and I have been thankful to all the lessons He has been teaching me, it's like an onion being peeled a layer at a time and I have made so many mistakes in my past. As if God is saying, "ok, now that has been dealt with, now let's move on to the next". And like an onion, it goes from the big layers all the way to the small layers, from the big concepts to the smaller details. The big concepts were important and I'm thankful for those convictions, but now I see how because I've held on so tightly on the big concepts that I've missed the smaller details, which are also very important. Be reminded that these are based upon the bigger concepts that I had previously mentioned, not dismissing anything, such as guarding your heart. Those were the big concepts, now on to the small details. Another thing, we all have personal convictions from God, these are mine, you have your own. Whatever they are, just remember this: Don't compromise your convictions for convenience. Alright, when you are in a dating relationship it's normal to start thinking "Can I marry this person?" That is a great question, but DON'T get overly caught up in it! I've been guilty of doing that and in turns caused myself and others lots of pain. I grew up keeping my distance with guys I might be interested in cause of the big concepts, but then I didn't know to really have a normal friendship with them... I'm so thankful for this season in the States, learning to development genuine friendships with the opposition sex, it's refreshing. But I'm also walking on new territory. It's easy to treat the person you are dating AS IF they are your husband and wife, I mean, you are in love and would most likely want to marry that person. In high school, my classmates literality called their dates "husband" and "wife". YET as Christian, God only had two relationship status you can say, "brothers and sisters in Christ" and "husband and wife". But before marriage, they are your brothers and sisters in Christ, and even if you don't end up together, being able to still love like bothers and sisters in Christ is huge. "Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity." 1 Timothy 5:1-2 When you are dating someone treat them as a brother and sister in Christ, don't over complicated it, I wish I didn't. Keeping an eye on some main marriage checkmarks are important, but enjoy hanging out with this person. I saw this video, Advice for Guys on Dating from Desiring God, and man, I wish I had heard it earlier. Girls, don't put necessary expectations on your brothers in Christ. THEY ARE NOT YOUR HUSBAND yet! they don't have to lead your spiritual life, that is your personal responsibility with God (even after you are married). But, the point that really got me was, be friends, enjoy their company, hang out. Ultimately, the beauty of marriage is that strong Christ-centered friendship. Which leads to that other question, "Are they the one? Is this the will of God?", I don't believe in THE ONE, but it's a legitimate question that pops up and we have a tendency to over stress about it, don't we just hate our own heads sometimes.... Milk from Tenth Avenue North said this: "Instead of worrying is she the one, let me ask this question, how would I treat her if she was the one.... I started moving as if she was the one and then I have to trust that if I haven't heart no [from God], then keep walking and that if God is involved He'll divert you." When you have a personal relationship with God, walking in faith shouldn't be hard, cause you know who is leading you. If you are loving God and loving people, YOU ARE IN HIS WILL! Be careful not to get too caught up in questioning the future, that you neglected the present: Love God, Love People. Love comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience and a sincere faith! Waiting for Him to peel yet another layer off that onion skin of mine, not going to lie, sometimes it gets lonely, sometimes I want a friend, a companion I can do life with (I love and treasure my girl friends, but you know what I mean ;P) but I am also enjoying these moments of peeling, as simple as learning to treat him as a brother in Christ and not over complicating it (too fast), that is huge. If you have a few minutes, check out this interview, so much truth and wisdom. Be blessed.
2 Comments
Nick
6/8/2020 04:12:51 pm
Girls are too complicated for guys company.
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heather
6/9/2020 10:16:24 am
Oh my goodness!! I laughed out loud!!! well,, we were wired differently hahah
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